The reduced price “please take these items home today we beg of you” bakery at Woodman’s is a veritable gold mine.

What is this you ask? Why, it is only the best freaking coffee cake I have ever had in my life. The Creme Brulee Coffee Cake made by Nikola’s Bakery of Bloomington, Minnesota.

Schmoops says that if it weren’t for the fact that he has a minor reason to keep himself looking good (I think it’s because he has a girlfriend but he never really clarified), he would eat this whole thing.

Or maybe both these whole things.

If you zoom in on the label you will see why reduced bakery sections are amazing. These two marvelous confections cost me ninety-nine cents each. That’s down from a retail price of six dollars. And all because they “expired” yesterday.

I dare you to tell me you’ve never eaten bread that “expired” two days ago. Because these two beauties probably won’t survive the next two days anyway.